Sleep?

Whilst I was pregnant, I bought a lovely set of "Baby Milestone Cards" to capture the exciting moments of babyhood. I've been fantastic at remembering to take photos of Bronte featuring her Monthly age cards but when it's come down to the sitting, rolling over and crawling milestones, I've missed them as I can't pinpoint the exact time she did them... was I supposed to use it when she sat for a second or once she was sitting for a minute? Crawling forwards all of the time or mainly backwards but on the odd occasion, forward? 

There is one Milestone card which I am eagerly waiting to use. "I slept through the night for the first time." I hate that card. That card can go to hell. I often see that card pop up on my news feed next to an angelic looking baby belonging to a friend. Now, if Bronte only woke once or twice a night, right now, I'd genuinely consider that a victory. I don't know what's happened but my little cherub has decided that I'm so fantastic, she just has to have a bit of a cuddle or a lick of my nipple at regular intervals. It's a good job that I'm pretty fond of her too.

It has come to my attention that the correct way of determining whether your baby is "good" or not all comes down to how many zeds they give you.

"Is she good? Does she sleep well?"

Bronte is fabulous. I mean, I'm biased and I'm certain there will be people out there who think differently. All mothers have rose-tinted glasses on to some degree when it comes down to their own children but really, 95% of the time, Bronte is a dream and I'm pretty chuffed with the outcome of Ben and I's reproductive systems. She is good. She is a baby.

Now, if your baby is "good" but doesn't sleep well, then it all comes down to your parenting, right?

Bronte is still in our bedroom. Her cot is no longer attached to our bed but she is still next to me. 

"Is she in her own room yet?" "Have you tried controlled crying?" "Babies need to cry, it's good for their lungs." "Are you still feeding her at night?" "Are you still breastfeeding? Maybe you should try formula." "You're spoiling her."

Don't get me wrong, most of the time people are just trying to help and well meaning advice is welcome when I ask for it. I can't help but feel a little under attack though when my parenting skills are questioned. I'm a first time mum, I may have worked in childcare for years but this is different by a mile. We're all winging it in our own way, everything is trial and error. What works for you, may not work for somebody else. There is absolutely nothing wrong with offering advice, just please don't force it upon a new parent if it's not for them.

Maybe it's my own fault that Bronte doesn't sleep through the night, maybe if I was more "tough" then my dark circles wouldn't resemble supermassive black holes and my eyeballs wouldn't look like pickled onions. I favour sharing a bed with Bronte over letting her cry even for a minute. I just can't do it and I won't. As for going in her own bedroom, I know that would be a good thing to try, I just don't think I'm ready to let go! How has it been 7 months already?! I enjoy hearing her sleep next to our bed and whilst I'm still feeding her in the night, she's an arms reach away. I don't have to get out of bed! For the record, Ben and I are in no rush to kick her out, we enjoy her being in our bedroom and that's fine. Just as it's equally fine for a baby to have their own space. 

We've tried classical music, white noise, blankets, sleep bags, room temperature up/down, chamomile tea in a beaker, feeding her more solids, not offering milk with every wake up, offering milk with every wake up, leaving her a little while to see if she'll settle, bath before bed, lavender bath before bed, chamomile bath before bed,  no bath before bed, earlier bed time, later bed time, more daytime naps, less daytime naps, my clothes in her cot, bed sharing, sleeping on her own in the evenings, daddy putting her to bed, mummy putting her to bed etc, etc... at the end of the day, this whole parenting lark is one gigantic experiment and sleeping is just one of those things we're yet to master. 

I dream of having a full nights sleep (well, I'd dream if I was given half the chance to.) but for now, I'll try and savour the moments I have with Bronte because before much longer, she'll be moving out and getting a job, Being a mum is glorious and so is my best friend, coffee, 1 sugar.

For all you mumas out there surviving on little sleep, I salute you, for all you mumas out there who get a good nights sleep, I'm pleased for you (If not a little envious!) 

I'm off to bed, wish me luck... that "I slept through the night for the first time." milestone card is optimistically waiting... good night.