A List of Things I Said I Would and Wouldn't Do as a Parent.

The Circle of Neglect

When I was pregnant, we had 9 months to prepare our lives for the arrival of our mini human. We'd spend hours doing research on prams, sleeping arrangements, baby names. Throughout the pregnancy (and before), I'd also made a mental note of all the things I wouldn't buy or do once baby was here.
Fast forward and I can assure you, I was a plonker.

1. We need a changing table.
A changing station complete with Milton spray, disposable gloves, cloth nappies, disposable nappies, muslins, cotton buds, cotton wool balls, baby wipes, nappy sacks, a sangenic bin, every nappy cream known to man, cute boxes and tubs to organize all of the above.
Bronte was changed 40% of the time on the changing table during the first 3 months of her life. Now we wrestle her on the carpet... not even with a mat. Soiled nappies are lucky to make it into a nappy sack. Bronte has never had nappy rash to use the array of lotions and potions which are no longer kept neatly in cute boxes.

2. We will definitely do baby led weaning.
I'd read the books, I'd looked online. I was convinced. Puree was unnecessary.
Bronte's sensitive gag reflex begs to differ. Bronte has a mixture of everything but I have to be incredibly careful with what "normal" food I give her as 9 times out of 10, if Bronte gags, she'll projectile vomit. Everywhere.

3. We won't use jarred baby food.
There was one point where Bronte had an entire shelf filled with jars. I still give her jars sporadically. Who are we kidding? I barely ever prepare myself anything half nutritious as my eating habits are awful since breast feeding, I can't bring Bronte up on Cheetos and peanut butter bagels. 

4. No noisy, plastic toys.
I am quite partial to a noisy plastic toy. Bronte likes noise and plastic. Looking at a toy that I know Bronte loves just makes me love it a little bit, no matter how ugly. Anything Bronte likes is welcome in my house (apart from Mr Tumble.)

5. I won't call my baby names.
When Bronte is acting like a poohead, I call her a poohead. Sometimes she really does act like a poohead. It's endearing.

6. I won't swear around my baby.
I decided on this one before I'd become familiar with our car seat. If you don't like swearing, don't stick around when I'm trying to put Bronte in the car.

7. We don't need isofix.
It would appear that sometimes, it's not just Bronte that is a poohead.

8. We won't bed share.
Bronte started off in a cot attached to our bed, now she's in a cot next to our bed. She often makes it into our bed.

9. I will sterilise everything.
Sophie the giraffe is mighty fine after a quick once over with a wet wipe.

10. I will shower every day.
It would seem that I join Sophie on the wet wipe wash more frequently than I'd hoped.

11. I will still have the odd night out.
I'm still yet to have time away from Bronte. Call it clingy if you will, I just don't feel ready yet.

12. If I have a girl, she won't wear pink.
Oh, FINE, I QUITE LIKE HER IN IT.

13. I won't become one of those "over sharing online" mums.
I am the very worst kind of over sharing mum. People who haven't even met Bronte yet, know what she had for lunch 2 weeks ago. I am not ashamed.

14. I won't compare myself to other mums.
I'm guilty. Her baby has been sleeping through since 1 hour old? Is her bathroom always this tidy? Why am I not capable of cooking a meal for Ben every night? Her baby's been walking since 6 months!? I know we're all in the same boat and I know people probably look at me and wonder how I manage to do certain things (like blogging, probably!). 

15. I'll sleep when the baby sleeps.
Who came up with this advice? There. Is. So. Much. That. Needs. Doing.
Can the baby not sleep when I sleep... like at night time?!

16. I won't put Cbeebies on all of the time.
I sing the Twirlywoos theme tune on a daily basis and I think Bing can p**s off.

16. I was organised as a nanny, I can be an organised mum.
99.9% of the time, I leave the house, late, with a hot flush, leaving behind baby wipes, my umbrella and part of my soul.

Sleep?

Whilst I was pregnant, I bought a lovely set of "Baby Milestone Cards" to capture the exciting moments of babyhood. I've been fantastic at remembering to take photos of Bronte featuring her Monthly age cards but when it's come down to the sitting, rolling over and crawling milestones, I've missed them as I can't pinpoint the exact time she did them... was I supposed to use it when she sat for a second or once she was sitting for a minute? Crawling forwards all of the time or mainly backwards but on the odd occasion, forward? 

There is one Milestone card which I am eagerly waiting to use. "I slept through the night for the first time." I hate that card. That card can go to hell. I often see that card pop up on my news feed next to an angelic looking baby belonging to a friend. Now, if Bronte only woke once or twice a night, right now, I'd genuinely consider that a victory. I don't know what's happened but my little cherub has decided that I'm so fantastic, she just has to have a bit of a cuddle or a lick of my nipple at regular intervals. It's a good job that I'm pretty fond of her too.

It has come to my attention that the correct way of determining whether your baby is "good" or not all comes down to how many zeds they give you.

"Is she good? Does she sleep well?"

Bronte is fabulous. I mean, I'm biased and I'm certain there will be people out there who think differently. All mothers have rose-tinted glasses on to some degree when it comes down to their own children but really, 95% of the time, Bronte is a dream and I'm pretty chuffed with the outcome of Ben and I's reproductive systems. She is good. She is a baby.

Now, if your baby is "good" but doesn't sleep well, then it all comes down to your parenting, right?

Bronte is still in our bedroom. Her cot is no longer attached to our bed but she is still next to me. 

"Is she in her own room yet?" "Have you tried controlled crying?" "Babies need to cry, it's good for their lungs." "Are you still feeding her at night?" "Are you still breastfeeding? Maybe you should try formula." "You're spoiling her."

Don't get me wrong, most of the time people are just trying to help and well meaning advice is welcome when I ask for it. I can't help but feel a little under attack though when my parenting skills are questioned. I'm a first time mum, I may have worked in childcare for years but this is different by a mile. We're all winging it in our own way, everything is trial and error. What works for you, may not work for somebody else. There is absolutely nothing wrong with offering advice, just please don't force it upon a new parent if it's not for them.

Maybe it's my own fault that Bronte doesn't sleep through the night, maybe if I was more "tough" then my dark circles wouldn't resemble supermassive black holes and my eyeballs wouldn't look like pickled onions. I favour sharing a bed with Bronte over letting her cry even for a minute. I just can't do it and I won't. As for going in her own bedroom, I know that would be a good thing to try, I just don't think I'm ready to let go! How has it been 7 months already?! I enjoy hearing her sleep next to our bed and whilst I'm still feeding her in the night, she's an arms reach away. I don't have to get out of bed! For the record, Ben and I are in no rush to kick her out, we enjoy her being in our bedroom and that's fine. Just as it's equally fine for a baby to have their own space. 

We've tried classical music, white noise, blankets, sleep bags, room temperature up/down, chamomile tea in a beaker, feeding her more solids, not offering milk with every wake up, offering milk with every wake up, leaving her a little while to see if she'll settle, bath before bed, lavender bath before bed, chamomile bath before bed,  no bath before bed, earlier bed time, later bed time, more daytime naps, less daytime naps, my clothes in her cot, bed sharing, sleeping on her own in the evenings, daddy putting her to bed, mummy putting her to bed etc, etc... at the end of the day, this whole parenting lark is one gigantic experiment and sleeping is just one of those things we're yet to master. 

I dream of having a full nights sleep (well, I'd dream if I was given half the chance to.) but for now, I'll try and savour the moments I have with Bronte because before much longer, she'll be moving out and getting a job, Being a mum is glorious and so is my best friend, coffee, 1 sugar.

For all you mumas out there surviving on little sleep, I salute you, for all you mumas out there who get a good nights sleep, I'm pleased for you (If not a little envious!) 

I'm off to bed, wish me luck... that "I slept through the night for the first time." milestone card is optimistically waiting... good night.

Motherhood - The First Week

 

When I was pregnant there was a lot of focus on buying all you need for your new baby and how to prepare your body and mind for labour. I think many mums-to-be think of labour as the final stretch, the goal we've all been preparing ourselves for throughout the 9 months of pregnancy.

I hold my hands up. Although I think I coped very well in the first few weeks and I've not let much faze me; I wasn't prepared. I had no idea how I would feel once we got home from the hospital. I hadn't thought that far ahead.
I'm writing my experiences of the first week of motherhood. I would have done this at the time but as you already know, or you'll discover one day, when you come home with your new baby, you really are in a little bubble. I hope this is an interesting/helpful read for mothers and mums-to-be!

The photo above is the first photo on my phone of myself and Bronte. I'd just come back into the room after a very tepid bath (please read my birth story for more on that!). You can see tea and toast in the background. You've probably been told about how the tea and toast you receive after labour is the most enjoyable tea and toast you'll ever have. I didn't really touch mine! I was too interested in staring at my baby and the adrenaline I was still feeling made me rather queasy. I did, however, eat a snickers bar because I'd had visions of me chomping on snickers bars during labour so had packed a load in my bag. I hadn't actually touched them and thought I'd have one for the sake of my expectations!
You can read more of my time in hospital in my birth story which is a few posts away!

Fast forward to home time. I was lucky enough to be able to go home on the same day that I'd given birth although I did discharge myself as Bronte hadn't really fed properly. (I wanted to breastfeed.) I was convinced that the reason Bronte wasn't feeding was because I wasn't relaxed enough and it was too hot in hospital. I just wanted to be at home in familiar surroundings.
We bundled Bronte up in the car seat, ready to go home. It makes me laugh seeing how wrapped up she is! You'd never believe it was the 2nd June by looking at the amount she's wearing! The drive home was... leisurely. Like an 80 year old tooting along on a Sunday afternoon. A far cry from the 100 mph the previous night when I was in labour! I can assure you, you'll never be as aware of danger and traffic as you are when you first take your baby out in the car (and for a good while after!)

Arriving home was rather odd! We set up camp in the living room, lots of snacks and drinks to the left of me and I sat there for hours holding Bronte with my top off so she was free to feed whenever she decided she wanted to. Within half an hour of us getting home, a few of my family members came over for a little while just to have quick peek. It was so surreal. There was so much pride in the living room that evening. It was an amazing moment, introducing a new family member to everyone! They left after less than an hour so I could carry on focussing on getting Bronte to feed properly. Luckily she latched on properly and I felt a little at ease!

That night I'm pretty sure Bronte slept the majority of the night, I, however, did not. I was petrified of something happening to her. Looking back, it all seems so ridiculous but the adrenaline I had was unreal. I felt so sick. I think I was fully awake and ready to start the day before 6am. The sun rose early as it was the summer so it felt more acceptable! My midwife was due to visit at some point that morning so I (stupidly) hoovered downstairs regardless of the fact that I'd religiously cleaned the house on the day I gave birth! It shouldn't have mattered and we were specifically told not to worry about the house but there we go, I was hoovering nothing.

The midwife was happy with me, she said I should try a home birth next time. I still wouldn't as I just felt safe in hospital and I was happy with how it went. She also reminded me of "Day 3". The day where the men should probably go and hide in the shed or at very least, tread very carefully! Day 3 is when your milk comes in and your hormones rocket. Day 3 can do one.

I was aware that day 3 was slowly being unleashed in the afternoon that my sister and family came over to visit. I could literally feel it creeping up on me, I even laughed while tears ran down my face saying "Day 3 is happening! I'm sorry, I have no idea why I'm crying! I feel very strange!" Ben had brought in some cheesy crisps for everyone to snack on. The smell of them made me feel sick and angry. I went upstairs to "go to the toilet" and the smell was following me! This was the first time I was fully aware that my hormones were stopping me from eating.

I haven't mentioned how my body felt after labour yet. You feel weak and sore. Like you've had a really bad tummy bug. On top of that, I'd had stitches down below so I found it rather uncomfortable. I was taking lots of painkillers and sitting on soft cushions to ease the pain. Just standing up or getting out of bed was quite a mission. I don't know, it hurt and I just felt so, so weak! Using your stomach muscles for the first time in a number of months is an interesting one! It all feels so abnormal! You carry on bleeding quite a lot for a few days, I'm sure everyone is different but I don't think I was prepared for how much blood there is. It's just a challenge. That's all I can say.

I'm very lucky to have a very supportive husband, Ben. He was consistently supportive and helpful. Make sure you accept help from whoever you're close to, mum, friends, partner etc. You'll soon be on your own in the real world, take help while it's there! Ben went back to work 6 days after Bronte was born. That sucked. I felt like our "babymoon" went far too fast! I didn't really feel ready to be left alone but Ben's self employed and had to return to work. He still made me breakfast every morning before he left and he often still does now, bless him. He's really been amazing.

Unfortunately, for the first few months, eating breakfast was a real challenge. I've really struggled with what must be hormones and breastfeeding. The actual breastfeeding hasn't been a problem at all, I've been fortunate there; it's just this sick feeling. It's really consumed me. I only ate small amounts and all I could stomach was eggs, nuts and pizza! Even then, I'd have to force myself to eat. I had no feeling of hunger and just having food in my mouth made me want to be sick. There were often times when I had to hold my nose. There were also times where I was holding my nose and crying because I just couldn't face eating at all. I've never had a problem with eating. The problem was always getting me to stop eating! I mentioned it to my health visitor and although she seemed concerned, there was nothing she could suggest or do that I hadn't already done. I went to the doctors about it too and I was offered no advice or help. I was even told to not take Complan as a food supplement because it could be bad for Bronte through my breastmilk but I wasn't offered any suggestions to replace it! I felt so unwell, tired and weak. I remember my chest feeling like I was dying. It must have been my milk coming in but it was a dragging, warm sensation right up to my neck. It made me feel queasy and everything just went... slow. I don't miss that feeling. There was one point I remember ringing my mum in tears because I genuinely thought I was going to die. I had probably only slept a few hours in an entire week, barely eaten a thing, was breastfeeding constantly and had also given birth through the night at the start of the week. 

Being a new mum is a new level of exhausting. It's safe to say, nothing prepares you for it. It's the most amazing thing in the entire world, don't get me wrong. I can't wait to do it all over again but I also don't miss that feeling of being so groggy and out of control!

When Bronte was a few days old, we went to Asda. I remember slowly drifting down the aisles with Bronte in my Soothe Shirt (great invention by the way! Their website is www.lalabu.com)

I was completely in my own little world and I kept wondering what on Earth everybody was doing going about their own business. I HAD JUST HAD A BABY!Did nobody know?!

The next day, we'd planned to go for a little walk with my sister-in-law, Stacey and Bronte's baby cousin, Ariana. I put a little make up on for the first time, I'm pretty sure I thought I looked amazing, looking back at photos, I can assure you, I did not! When Stacey showed up, she took one look at my rock hard boobs and said I needed to empty them ASAP otherwise I was going to get mastitis! I was producing a lot of milk and Bronte couldn't keep up! They were seriously like rocks and were quite warm. Bronte couldn't latch onto them so that day, I reached a new low. My sister-in-law milked me. Let's let that sink in. I didn't have a pump at the time and they were so painful I couldn't do it myself! I finally got myself geared up to leave the house. We all got to the top of my steps outside. I suggested to Ben that we needed to get one of those safety straps for the pram just in case we let go of the pram at the top of the hill by accident! He then proceeded to let go of the pram (with his hands in front of the handle bar) Bronte was in the pram. I freaked out. I ran back to the front door in tears and begged Ben to let me back in. I was so emotional! It all seems over the top now I look back but at the time, it felt so awful! That was one of the only times I got very upset. After that, things mellowed out and I stopped worrying quite so much about my little bundle.

Well, other than this pathetic time when I cried to some music that I'd planned on giving birth to. What a mess! I was (and still am) just so, so in love. Absolutely nothing prepares you for it. I can't say I cried when she was first born. I was ridiculously happy and pumped full of adrenaline, don't get me wrong; those uncontrollable tears of joy didn't happen until a few days later when I took this photo though. We still use that music through the night to help Bronte sleep, thankfully it doesn't make me cry anymore! I plan on hopefully playing it at our next baby's birth, whenever that happens!

Nothing will prepare you for how you feel once you become a mother. No matter how many people tell you that, it won't sink in until it happens. I thought I was prepared. I'd worked in childcare, in a nursery and as a nanny for years. I thought I knew what to expect. I didn't. It's the most beautiful mess you'll ever experience and every mother should be immensely proud of themselves. I am. No matter how natural or ordinary being a mother is, you still feel like you've achieved something superhuman! I made another person. I carried her inside of me, I gave birth to her and I continue to feed her with milk I created all by myself! No matter how tired or sick I've felt, it's all been worth it. I give it 10/10.
The first day that Ben went back to work and I was left alone to start what was going to be my new normal, I sat there with Bronte asleep at my side, doing my make up properly for the first time since she'd been born. It sounds silly but I remember dabbing foundation on my cheeks and looking at myself properly in the mirror and for the first time, I honestly felt beautiful. I've never been proud of anything that I've done. Not until I had Bronte. I was proud of myself and I continue to be proud of myself; even if it's for something as ordinary as being a mother. That's all I've ever aspired to be and I'm finally content.
When I say congratulations to someone for being pregnant or for becoming a mother, I mean it.

Georgina Hannay Photogaphy

Breastfeeding Positives and Negatives

Breastfeeding is all over the media at the moment, be it for promoting the benefits or another breastfeeding in public shock story. For anyone who breast feeds, you'll probably relate to this and for anyone still undecided on breastfeeding or looking for personal experiences, this may be helpful!
I'll start with the positives because they're the most important! Please don't take this as an attack against formula feeding, I'm just sharing my experiences and facts about breastfeeding! We're all trying our best and feeding our babies at the end of the day and hats off to bottle feeding mums, I genuinely wouldn't make it out of the house if I had all of those extra jobs to do! This is a reasonably sensible and somewhat boring post, I hope it interests some of you!

1. Breastfeeding protects your baby from diseases and infections.
Breast milk is packed full of cells which literally eat up germs. It also contains a substance which coats your baby's intestines which prevents germs from leaking through, it can also prevent allergic reactions from food.

2. It's free!
Clearly a massive positive, obviously you may be interested in buying bottles and a pump to express milk which I haven't done but that's still a lot cheaper than buying formula every week! Breast pads also are a must for some. I know some friends who don't need them, I on the other hand have to at all times and only Lansinoh are good enough for the job! 

3. No bottles to carry!
Bottles are pretty bulky and you've got to make sure you take enough formula out with you if you don't want to be buying more when you're out. I can leave the house knowing I'm not going to have to worry about feeding.

4. No sterilising bottles.
Being a mum is hard enough work, any less labour is a positive!

5. Reduces risk of SIDS.
I don't even like typing this. For the first few months, I was petrified. Breast fed babies don't sleep as soundly as formula fed babies so the theory is that breast fed babies would awaken if they stopped breathing for a moment or two. 

6. No preparation.
No mixing formula or warming bottles, just pull up/down your top and you're ready to go! 

7. It builds an amazing bond with your baby.
I'm only talking from experience but I've genuinely loved mostly everything about breastfeeding. I feel a real comfort when feeding Bronte. Especially the first few weeks, it was the most unreal thing knowing I was keeping a little human alive with my boobs! 

8. Breastfeeding on demand is easy!
I've never timed how long Bronte has fed for or thought about when she needs to feed next. She lets me know and my boobs are always there ready. I've found weaning her onto food quite simple in that respect too, I don't need to count bottles or do any "reducing" etc. 

9. Lowers your risk of getting ovarian and breast cancer.
Pretty self explanatory!

10. Naturally burns up to 500 calories per day.
I don't know how quickly I would have lost weight if I'd bottle fed but from personal experience, I lost all of my baby weight in 2 months and I'm now half a stone below my pre pregnancy weight!

11. Hands free!
I'm able to have my hands free to use my phone or eat (not that I can eat as breastfeeding makes me feel queasy around food but that's another subject!)

12. Soothing!
Nothing stops Bronte crying like a quick whip out of my boob! Magic.

13. You can feed your baby lying down.
Anything's a positive if it's a lazier option.

1. Leaks.
I'm constantly leaking. I spent a good couple of weeks trying to find the right breast pads! Lansinoh win hands down if anybody has the same problem as me! 

2. Difficulty knowing what to wear!
I don't wear dresses unless they're button up or pinafores. Everything has to be easy access and if you decide to wear something a bit fiddly one day, you'd better hope you have a rather simple day and don't end up wanting to rip them off in frustration! I do have days where I find it incredibly irritating constantly readjusting my clothes.

3. Being the only milk giver.
Unless you manage to combination feed or express milk, you'll be the only person who's able to feed your baby. That's the case with me. I've tried bottles in the past and it's really hit and miss with whether Bronte will accept them or not. I've since given up trying as I've only got a hand pump and I find it a bit of a faff if she's only going to reject it! One bottle that Bronte has accepted in the past is the Minbie bottle for anyone who's looking for a good one to try!

4. Mastitis.
I had mastitis when Bronte was 7 weeks old. I felt incredibly ill. Like I had the flu, everything was painful and achey. My boobs were solid hard, sore and red. Luckily antibiotics cleared it up within a few days but I wouldn't wish it upon any new mother!

5. The early weeks.
This could be a positive and a negative! You're constantly feeding your baby at the beginning. I very much felt like Bronte was always on my boobs but it rarely bothered me. It's just extra bonding in my eyes! It could be viewed as being extremely demanding and obviously leaves you with the problem of possibly not being able to let someone else take over with feeding on occasions so you can have a nap!

6. Biting.
Since Bronte has developed two little teeth, she's graced me with a loving nip on my nipples every now and then. It seems to have died down now but for a few days it was pretty painful! 

7. Feeling sick.
This is very personal to me and apparently very unusual but every time I breast feed, I feel queasy. The feeling's died off slightly over the past few months but at the beginning I was almost completely off food. I struggled with eating anything and lived off of dippy eggs, nuts and pizza for the first few months! I'm still not back to normal with my eating and I generally eat a load of rubbish, I rarely can stomach the foods I used to enjoy.

8. Breastfeeding in public?
I don't find feeding in public a problem, again that's my personal experience and I can't speak for everyone. I don't have big boobs so maybe I find it easier being discreet so I don't feel on edge that people are looking! I do, however, worry that if Bronte comes off unexpectedly, I'm going to shoot a poor man in the eye with my tremendous let down. I did feel anxious about feeding in public to begin with but to anyone who's thinking of breast feeding but this factor is really putting them off... it gets A LOT easier with time! 

9. Sleep.
Generally, bottle fed babies sleep more soundly than breastfed babies. This has a very slim chance of being a negative (referring to SIDS.) but thankfully, that's unlikely. Bronte still hasn't slept through the night and can often be up every hour in the night, I don't know how she'd sleep if she was formula fed so obviously I can't comment on whether breastfeeding has anything to do with this!

10. There are still idiots out there who think its disgusting or wrong!
These idiots were probably breastfed as a baby and don't realise that they wouldn't actually exist if it weren't for that. Breastfeeding is what has got our species to where we are today. If it wasn't for breastfeeding, none of us would exist! Unfortunately, breasts for a long time have been classed as "sexual objects" and although there's nothing wrong with finding breast attractive, that is NOT their purpose! They are and always will be a body part designed to feed babies. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a baby eating. I shouldn't really need to say more! As many people say, if you don't like it, don't look. Although I'm sure whilst somebody is disgusted by you breastfeeding in a cafe, they're probably sipping on a cup of tea made with cows milk from cows "boobies". How funny. I'd like to add that I've never had anyone approach me or make me feel uncomfortable for breastfeeding. I have, however, seen ridiculous comments from people regarding breastfeeding, on the internet. It's half laughable, half unbelievable.


Remember, If you're in two minds as to whether to breastfeed or not, you can always start off breastfeeding and then switch to formula or do a bit of both! However you choose to feed your baby, it will be the right decision for you. There are pros and cons to both. I've loved (mostly) every minute of breastfeeding and will breastfeed any other children I have if I'm still able to!

Photo by Georgina Hannay Photography of Bronte at 3 weeks old. 

Pink?

Pink. If you'd asked me when I was pregnant, I'd have told you that if I were to have a girl, they would not wear pink. I don't know where that decision came from. I, myself have had pink hair in the past and before I met Ben I even owned a pink table and chairs to match my very pretty cupcake kitchen. I grew up very much as a "tomboy" (I'm sure this branding is probably not allowed now a days as why can't a girl like boy things etc.) I favoured wearing my brothers' clothes over my own. I quit ballet to play football. I grew up free to be who I wanted to be. I doubt my parents were worried that I'd rather wear a tracksuit than a skirt and I think my brother enjoyed having someone to play football with. 10 years later, I had pink hair, had pink furniture and a questionable amount of Hello Kitty teddies. Regardless of how "masculine" my choices were as a child, I went on to be the epitome of girl.

So why, if I had a girl, did I not want them to wear pink? 

Part of me feels frustrated that many shops, Asda in particular, have an aisle of pink clothing for girls and an aisle of baby blue for boys with a mini section of  adventurous grey for those who want "gender neutral". I dislike it for being the obvious choice for a girl. I like to be a little different. That's where my dislike ends.

Bronte wearing pink as a baby will not define who she becomes as a child or an adult. It is a colour. As Bronte grows and develops likes and dislikes for colours and clothing, she can wear what she likes. In fact, I avoid pink ordinarily as I like variation but I'm really starting to LIKE pink. It matches her little pink cheeks and complements her fluffy blonde hair. Wah. There we are, it's out in the open now. I THINK PINK IS MORE THAN OK.

Many shops are picking up on anti-pink mums now though, I'm quite a fan of a lot of girls clothing recently!

Let's all take some time to appreciate the mighty colour mustard. That colour is a firm favourite with many at the moment, regardless of the fact that it distinctly reminds me of Bronte's milk poos. Got to love a bit of mustard. 

Motherhood

New year, new name.

I've decided to ditch One Eyed Raven. I feel a name that combines my new little necklace venture and my new role as a mother works better for me.

With every new year, I'm afraid I join the masses when it comes to new years resolutions and giving myself a kick up the backside. I've been meaning to blog PROPERLY for years now, in fact, new year 2 years ago was when I began blogging. Fast forward and I'm now married with baby and I very much feel like my whole life is stuck on fast forward!

This weekend I treated myself to a new laptop, one that hadn't been hit repeatedly because I once was a proud owner of a slightly infuriating and rubbish (sorry) boyfriend and our main form of long distance communication was via keyboard and the subject was often of argumentative material.

Anyway, here I am giving it another shot. I enjoy writing, I only wish I would remember this for longer than a day.

So I appear to own a 7 month old baby girl. Apparently once you become a mother, you shouldn't blink because your baby will grow at an alarming rate. I know it's often said but WHERE HAS THE TIME GONE?! 

The past seven months have been a complete whirlwind of absolute pleasure and exhaustion. Bearing in mind I spent 18 months signed off of work with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome in 2011, I feel I've been handling Mum exhaustion reasonably well, albeit with more than a little help from bessie mate caffeine. 

Every "mum quote cliché" has definitely been used ten fold. The majority of expectations I had of myself as a mother have been thrown in the nappy bin (not with a nappy sack like the majority of her soiled nappies. Oops.)

*UPDATE* I'm now typing with Bronte on my boob. 

Multi tasking doesn't really go to plan half the time. I'm awful at leaving Bronte happily to play by herself so I can do the washing up. I result in watching her play for 30 minutes instead and then hastily hide all the washing up in the full dishwasher before I have a visitor. I feel guilty for ignoring her or doing anything more than getting ready in the morning and I'm working hard on changing this! 

I've made some truly brilliant mum friends who I rate so highly. Baby social lives are actually pretty awesome and I'm having the time of my life really, even if I'm a living zombie most days.

Bronte still hasn't slept through the night yet, in fact, it's been pretty awful. I've had the pleasure of hourly wake ups most nights, thank goodness for concealer and caffeine. I wouldn't be half the mother I am if it weren't for them.

I'll try and conclude this post now as to not bore you, I could go on forever. We'll save the rest for another day. Although the past 7 months have been the most tiring and testing of my existence, they have genuinely been the best. I plan on blogging about my fashion and life with Bronte and Ben, let's hope this new years resolution sticks!